I wish I could wear skirts
I hate being too afraid to wear anything other than the same jeans every day and not being knowing how or where to get clothes even on the internet because real shops make me too anxious…
I’ve been living as female since 2011 but I can’t just do anything
I hope that someday I will be able to wear a skirt, every day.
I read all of the messages and I appreciate them
I’m sorry for not replying… I’m really useless D=
Earlier in February I had a really bad meltdown and
I tried to suicide but I’m too weak to get anywhere near succeeding.
The wounds are mostly healed… I think I will have some permanent scars but I can’t tell how much… It’s really not very bad though… it healed a lot more than expected.
I feel completely different to how I did before that… I’ve changed and will never be the same…
Maybe that’s a good thing… I couldn’t continue with how I was before… I had to change somehow.
I’m a bit more isolated. I signed out of my facebook account, maybe forever and I avoid things that are bad for me like news as much as possible… It’s best to be unaware of things… If something bothers me I should just turn away from it, to try not to be affected.
I feel that it’s actually gotten harder for me to be among people. It feels worse. I feel so out of place… I’m not one of them.
I have Aurora and Eva so I’m not alone… I guess I don’t need anyone else.
Maybe it’s useless to post this… I don’t think anyone will read or care but meh…
Headphones make a big difference. That’s why I try to wear them everywhere I go, if possible.
School starts again for me a few days after I cued this up (about 6 weeks ago). I have 6 hours of down time between my classes three days a week. I think a lot of time is going to be spent in headphones so I don’t have to talk to anyone.
I actually use headphones to block out noise mostly.
I think people actually see me as more “antisocial” if I’m wearing headphones.
I had to deliver a package to a post office some time ago and I was really bad at communicating and the person there harshly told me to take my headphones out as if they were the reason - as if I wasn’t listening to her or something - when I would’ve been just as awkward if I hadn’t had them in.
I wish I could just fit in somewere
I can’t even do it on the internet =(
The only two people I can actually communicate with are both offline today…
I’m so lonely.
I’m very much in the “shy” category…
Even the punctuation is right…